Friday, July 8, 2011

“You will always have home.”

This is soooo true for me anymore. My life is in a constant state of change and has been since my freshman year of college. The last time I talked to my mom on the phone I made the comment that. “I wish life was more like high school. Never changing, and if it does change it’s only at the start of the school year.  [Usually with new classes or a new boy, something not so stressful.] But now, who knows where I'll even be in December. A lot can happen before then.”

So, for about a week I was completely de-stressed. I no longer had to worry about remembering everything I was learning for a test and remember paperwork and this and that. I just needed to live, enjoy summer, plan for my upcoming birthday, and try not to screw up too much at work. I should have basked in that time and appreciated it more.  Now I am scrambling to figure out a living situation and get back to some sort of balance before August when my life goes back into a state of upheaval until I get used to classes and juggling an almost full-time job. {For any of my friends from college who are reading this, this is why you never saw me last year. I like to stay busy. I have acquired a mild form of A.D.D. while working fast food and I must constantly be in a state of motion until I crash and don’t wake up for 12 hrs.} Therefore, not a whole lot of time, for well, anything.  I’m working on fixing this. 

But in a phone call from my best friend Em we talked about how you have to take the good with the bad and in her words, “It’ll all work out, and besides you always have home.” Home seems to be the only thing keeping me rooted lately. The love I feel for my family and the desire of my spiritual growth are the only things keeping me sane anymore. Funny how a three hour conversation with your best friend makes everything seem so much easier. Everything is going to be okay. 

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

A leaky faucet and a swarm of ants on the windowsill.

This would be my first attempt at this blogging thing. My friends have been blowing up my newsfeed with their blog posts and I have been contemplating doing this for awhile. So tonight I thought "Why not? We are all lemmings anyway right?" (The lemming thing is a misconception I have now found out thanks to Wikipedia!) I also keep a diary some so I assume this is similar. Well, here we go.

I guess, as every good relationship goes, there has to be an introduction. I have been described as a cute little blonde girl by my friend Kel and for the most part I am extremely quiet. I have a few eccentricities-I love classic films, Indie-rock music, and reading classic books. I will probably blog about some of these things in the future. I grew up on a farm in a small rural community. (Moving two hours away from home is the closest I have come to getting out.) I am attending classes for my higher education, which hopefully will result in a paper saying I can go to even more school to become a counselor. Yes, the lives of others intrigue me and I do analyze...some, but I try never to judge.  Since we have the basic about me over with... 

Now comes the unveiling of my ordinary life. Like my description says I am caught in the middle of this wonderful tug of war between my heart and the expectations I put on myself. If I thought I could I would drop everything here in the Midwest and travel around the world with nothing but a backpack, seeing what can be seen. (I wish I could eloquently explain the look this statement got from my father.) But alas, I am here in this sleepy college town trying to survive and become known for something great. Translation: I am eating Spaghetti-O's, clipping coupons, and working a part-time fast food job in exchange for a better education, job, and wardrobe later in life. Cold, empty, and shallow you say? Yeah, I'm thinking so too.

So I am searching for a purposeful life and making my way up the ladder. Hopefully you will still be following my blog as I get there!